Funny Lame Video #32: Preparing For Beijing 2008 Olympics

Yes~! The new year has come!! :)

GYMNASTIQUE PEKIN 2008
Uploaded by nqtv

Funny Lame Video #31: The Illama Song...

Hi Guys!! I am back with the Illama Song!!! Enjoy!!

Stupid Lame Video #30: An Unusual Treatment

The worst visit to a doctor..very funny and gross!!

Adventures Of The Lamer Part III: Electronics Store..

Just another day in a electronic store in Orchard...

Sales Rep: Good afternoon sir.Welcome to Less Electronics!! How can I help you?

Lamer: Yes.. Say "I am stupid"..

Sales Rep: What? Hi you must be kidding with me sir..Anyway,what are you looking for?

Lamer: I think I am looking for something here..

Sales Rep: Yes I know..what is it?

Lamer: I am too shy to tell you..you know..

Sales Rep: Well then..you look around yourself..

Lamer: You looked down on me!! Why you want to leave me?? Why??

Sales Rep: Ok ok..pls tell me seriously..what are you looking for??

Lamer: I am looking for LOVE!!

Sales Rep: Please!! Be Serious ok!!

Lamer: Ok..how come so angry..is it your boss make you angry one??

Sales Rep: WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR??

Lamer: Yes..I am looking for something here to buy..

Sales Rep: WHAT IS THE 'SOMETHING'?

Lamer: It is something that I can use..you know..something useful??

Sales Rep: I feel like quitting my job...

Lamer: Hey come on,you must be strong..tell me what's your problem?? Who makes you so depressed??

Sales Rep: You don't act stupid with me..ONE last time,you want what thing??

Lamer: Erm...what do you have??

Sales Rep: We got TVs,washers,cookers,fridge.....so what is the thing you want?

Lamer: Can I consider first?

Sales Rep: You haven't chose or seen anything here YET,how can you consider?

Lamer: I am actually thinking..what am I going to eat tonight..what do you think??

Sales Rep: I think before I lost my temper,you better....GET OUT!!~!

Another boring day passes by....

Stupid Riddle Joke #60: Walking Shit

How can a bird shit cross the road and walking around??


Answer: Because it was on someone's head.(I know it is lame but we must accept it...)

Stupid Riddle Joke #59: The Deepest Ocean

Which part is considered as the deepest oceans in the world??


Answer: The Bottom.....

Stupid Riddle Joke #58: Around the World

What goes around the world but stays in a corner???


Answer: Stamps!!

Stupid Lame Video #29: Chicken Tennis

Chickens playing tennis..very funny..

Stupid Lame Video #28: Beating Your Kids!

The best stand-up comedian in history,Russell Peters!! Telling parents why must beat children.

Stupid Riddle Joke #57: Yet Another Dirty Joke

I go in HARD..

I come out SOFT..

Many people like to BLOW me...

What am I??


Answer: Bubble Gum

Stupid Riddle Joke #56: Hot Weather

Why do the stadium become so hot after the soccer match???

Answer: Because the "fans" are gone.

Stupid Lame Video #27: Yellow Pages

Yellow pages is always in need,always the best buy?

Stupid Lame Video #26: Driving the Car

Must drive the car at all costs...hahahaha..

Stupid Riddle Joke #55: Shaolin Guards

Do u know why the Shaolin temple, the 18 luo han (Temple Guards) are so powerful???

Answer: It is because they everytime got 18 people fighting against one person, confirmed will win!!

Stupid Riddle Joke #54: Mr Green Bean

Do u know why a green bean turn yellow when it is raining?

Answer: Because the green bean need to wear a yellow rain coat and yellow boots when it is raining !!!

Stupid Lame Video #25: Einstein The Genius Bird

Amazing bird in history..very very funny!!

Stupid Riddle Joke #53: The Responsibility Issue..

There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box. The Female pencil got pregnant!! Which Male pencil is responsible??

Clue: The first male pencil has a sharp lead...the second male pencil has a blunt lead...and the third male is a mechanical pencil without the rubber...



Answer: The mechanical pencil..because it has forgotten to use the rubber.. hehehe..

Stupid Riddle Joke #52: Oh Cute Panda!

What are the Panda's TWO BIG Wishes??


Answer: To take colour photos and get rid off dark eyes rings...

Stupid Lame Video #24: The Most Frustrating Video Game!!

Playing this video game will only make you stupid..

Stupid Riddle Joke #51: Useless Thing

My maker does not want me.
The buyer does not use me.
And the user does not see me.

What am I??


Answer: Coffin.

Stupid Riddle Joke #50:The Shy Shy Thing

What is the shyest object you can find in your house, your school or your place of work??


Answer: A Clock ( Because its hands always cover it's face, very shy to let people see one.)

Stupid Riddle Joke #49: Confused thing

What thing,when you drop or throw it away, it means you need to use it. When you take it back, means you don't need it anymore?

Guess??


Answer: Anchor

Stupid Riddle Joke #48: Dinner Before Lunch?

At what situation can we have dinner before lunch?


Answer: In a Dictionary ( "D"inner always come before "L"unch)

Stupid Lame Video #23: The Racist Psychiatrist

How to turn a black cat into a white cat? Talk to your psychiatrist..

Stupid Lame Video #22: How To Get Free Pizzas??

Apply this foolproof method,you might get a free pizza too...

Stupid Riddle Joke #47: The Bus Encounter...

There was this guy call John who just got a new job in Lim Chu Kang,a very rural countryside..
Everyday he will work until 1130pm and have to take the last bus home.
The bus is number 13,double deckered bus.

The first time when he took the bus,he wanted to go to the upper deck,just when he about to climb up the stairs...An old lady from the lower deck suddenly shouted!!!

"Boy!! Do NOT go up......."

2nd day,he took the same bus,want to go upper deck again...
Again the same old lady shouted,

"Boy!! I told you!! DO NOT go up...."

3rd day,the same bus again..John die die want to go up..
The old lady again told him "DON'T GO UP..."

John ask "Why?"

Question: What did the old lady said??


Answer: She will say "Upstair's dangerous...there is no driver....."

Stupid Riddle Joke #46: Toothbrush

Can we use toothbrush to brush our shoes??

Answer: No. (because it is toothbrush not shoebrush...)

Funny Lame Video #21: Another David Copperfield's Illusions!??

David Copperfield is coming to Singapore!! Have you bought your tickets??

Stupid Riddle Joke #45: Another Dirty Joke..

I am sometimes 4 inch or 6 inch long.

When I am used, I will let out a foamy lubrication.

After using me, you will feel very relaxed and satisfied.

What am I?


Answer: Toothpaste

Stupid Riddle Joke #44: Traffic Summons

Who will always got traffic summons while walking??

Answer: All the people who called "Jay"...because they are jaywalking.

Stupid Riddle Joke #43: Blind Deer

How would you call when you saw a blind deer?

Answer: No idea.... (Because No Eye Deer)

Stupid Riddle Joke #42: Sad Cow

How come the cow is so sad???


Answer: Because it is moo-dy..

Stupid Riddle Joke #41: Running Giraffe

What do you call when you saw a giraffe running??

Answer: Oh..it's a long run..

Stupid Lame Video #20: "The Blind Kungfu Master"

Stay away from the blind kungfu master,or else........

Stupid Lame Video #19: Guide To Dating

Rare Mr Bean Video shows you the dos and donts on how to date a girl..

Adventures Of The Lamer Part II: At the Coffeeshop..

Just another day at AH HUAT KOPITIAM....

Ah Huat: Hey drink what??

Lamer: That one.

Ah Huat: What?

Lamer: If I'm not wrong, the drink that I want to drink is something that I can drink...

Ah Huat: Oei! Siao man..you don't play play with uncle ok?

Lamer: I'm not gay,I only like women.. I don't want to play with you.

Ah Huat: You finding trouble is it!? Drink WHAT!!?

Lamer: Hmm...let me think...can I don't drink 'What'? I just want something to drink.

Ah Huat: Young boy..uncle cannot tahan your pattern..don't make me mad ok!?

Lamer: So..you are very stressed lah..how come?

Ah Huat: You don't think I am old and uneducated playing English with me ok?

Lamer: I don't like to play with old man one leh...I know it is hurting but I still have to say that I don't love you....

Ah Huat: Playing stupid with me right? It is ok..One more you die!!!

Lamer: I already say I don't love you anymore, why you still want me to die??? Love cannot be forced, do you know?

Ah Huat: YOU X#@#!!!! One last time, you want iced COFFEE,MILO,TEA OR COCA COLA???

Lamer: I prefer quiet girls..so long they are nice can already.

Ah Huat: STUPID MAN!! GET OUT OF MY KOPITIAM!! NOW!

Yet another day has passed again for the Lamer.....

Stupid Riddle Joke #40: Robbery!

Why would robbers want to rob a bank?


Answer: Because the bank is rich...

Stupid Lame Video #18: How To Prevent A Bank Holdup?

What will you do when there's a bank holdup? Let these police officers show you how..

Stupid Riddle Joke #39: The PIG Problem

There is a pig walking in the middle of a hanging bridge.Suddenly the bridge sways hard,the ropes are giving way..looks like the bridge is going to be fallen in any minute.
There is a lion in front of the pig.
Behind the pig, there is a wolf.
Above vultures and eagles are rovering and waiting.
Below the bridge,crocodiles opening their deadly jaws wide.
All the predators waiting for their chance to devour the little pig...

What will the pig do to escape safely???



Answer: I don't know.I am not the pig leh..

Stupid Riddle Joke #38: A Bird And Its Eggs

There was a pregnant bird flying above the trees..Suddenly the bird hatches an egg while flying..However,the egg did not drop and break.

How come?


Answer: The bird is wearing panties.

Stupid Riddle Joke #37: Friendly Waters

How do you know that the oceans and seas are very friendly?


Answer: Because they 'waves'...

Stupid Lame Video #17: Pets With Weird Habits

The top five funniest pets in Japan are....

Stupid Lame Video #16: Gay Noodles Shop

One of Japan's most popular icon...Hard Gay!!! Hoo!!!!!!!!

Stupid Riddle Joke #36: Pampered Moo..

What do you think will come out from a pampered cow??


Answer: Spoilt Milk

Stupid Riddle Joke #35: Witch

What do you call a witch dancing at a beach??


Answer: Sandwich

Stupid Riddle Jokes #34:A Helpful Animal

A cake got lost in the jungle. An animal encouraged the cake and help the cake out of the jungle.

What animal was it?

Answer: Pig ( Because Zhu Gu Li Dan Gao = Chocolate Cake.)

Stupid Riddle Jokes #33: Building the Temples

Once there is this holy man. . . one day .. he died. . . and so his 100 monks who are under him decided to build a temple to remember him. . .. so when they built till the last brick, a red truck came and knock the building down. .. and 50 monks died.the remainin 50 monks decided not to give up. . . so they rebuilt again. . . when they built till the last brick again. . . . the same red truck came and knock the building down again. .. and 25 monks died.the remaining 25 monks has decided not to give up hope yet. . . so they rebuilt the temple again. .. . when built till the last brick. . . yet again. . . the red truck is on its way to knock the building and them down. . . but this time. . a green truck zoom past the red truck and knock the building down. .. . and all the 25 monks died.

What is the moral of the story?

Answer: The green truck is faster than the red truck.

Stupid Lame Video #15: Kicked in the Danger Area!!

If I am the victim, I don't think I can smile and pretend nothing have happened!

Stupid Lame Video #14: Commercials

For the benefit of my fellow Singaporeans.. the list of commercials are: AT & T (Telephone),Miller Lite (Beer),Home Security,Gas X (Petrol station), Herpes (STDs),PMS = Pre Menstrual Symptoms, Imodium ( Diarrhea Medicine), Trojan Condoms , Pregnancy Test and Viagra ( this don't need to explain lah...)

Stupid Riddle Jokes #32: Gays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What do you call a person who is gay but not gay?

Answer: An unhappy gay..

Stupid Riddle Jokes #31: No Wheels

What can be driven but has no wheels?

Clue:It can be sliced too but will be one piece again.


Answer: Golfball

Stupid Riddle Joke #30: Boxing Match

Two boxers are having a 12-round boxing match.However, the match ended on the 6th round when one boxer knocked out the other one.
The strange thing is no man throws a punch at all.

How come like this???





Answer: Because the boxers are female. (No man throws a punch but women did.)

Stupid Riddle Joke #29: Lift Story

How come Johnny always take the lift from his apartment at 20th floor to the ground floor when he go out,and when he go home he will take the lift to the 7th floor and walk up the stairs to his apartment?

How come??

Answer: Because Johnny is a very short boy.He cannot reach the 20th floor button.

Stupid Lame Video #13: Bank Robbery!

Once upon a time,a bank robbery in Thailand...

Adventures Of The Lamer Part I: At The MRT...

At the MRT...begins the new arrival of.....

"SMACK!!!!"

Angry Stranger: Hey what's that for?? How come you beat my backside???

Lamer: I want to say "Hello"

Stranger: You shouldn't be doing this,I can sue you for molest..

Lamer: But I am not gay you know..

Stranger: I Don't CARE you are gay or not!!! But beating me in the public is not right...

Lamer: I think it is ok lah..I forgive you.

Stranger: IT IS NOT OK!! You have no reason to forgive me!

Lamer: I think you are not happy..How come??

Stranger: Firstly, I don't know you.Second,you beat my bottoms..Third,you pretend like nothing have happened.....

SMACK!!

Stranger: Hey YOU AGAIN!! You beat me again!!

Lamer: Yes? Can I help you?

Stranger: Mister,I have no time to entertain you..I got a plane to catch in Changi.

Lamer: So?

Stranger: Please don't disturb me ok?

SMACK!!!

Stranger: Hey would you stop beating my backside or not?

Lamer: But it is a form of courtesy you know?

Stranger: DON'T!!

Lamer: You look down on me!!

Stranger: Hey think you need to go mental hospital..

Lamer: You know...I alighting soon..

Stranger: Good,please go.

Lamer: Do you miss me?

Stranger: No..

Lamer: Why? I am cute you know?

Stranger: Enough!! One more time you gonna to get it!

Lamer: Aaaha! I reached liao..you forget to say what?

Stranger: what?

Lamer: Say goodbye my love..

SMACK!!!

Stranger: YOU SIAO ISZIT!!? Siam lah!! Crazy!

Another day has passed for the Lamer....see you soon next time....

Stupid Lame Video #12: Death Reaper!!

What you will see when you touch the Death Note...Hahahahaha..

Stupid Lame Video #11: Report from Iraq

Live news from Iraq...

Stupid Lame Video #10: The Classic Tetris

This is the new human tetris,you will laugh like hell.:)

Stupid Riddle Joke #28: Coffee Stirrer

What hand will you use to stir your coffee?

Answer: Nobody will use hand to stir.You need a small spoon or stirrer.

Stupid Lame Video #9: Never Prejudge!!

Sometimes things will not go as what you expected....

Stupid Lame Video #8: North Korean Nuclear Scientists

This is the video showing North Korean Scientists working..hehehe.

Stupid Riddle Joke #27: Superman Part 2

Why does superman fly with one hand at the side and one hand pointing straight ahead in the past, but now he flies with both hands pointing straight ahead?


Answer: In the past, Superman was on manual mode but now he's on autopilot mode.

Stupid Riddle Joke #26:A Crippled Prawn

What do you call a prawn without legs?

Answer: Lame sia....

Stupid Riddle Joke #25: Lightning Days

Why does lightning hit trees on windy days?

Answer: Because on windy days, the trees "sway". (= unlucky)

Stupid Riddle Joke #24: Phototaking

Why can't you take a photo of a man with a tie?

Answer: Because you cannot take photo with a tie.

Stupid Riddle Joke #23: New Ship

How come there is no TV inside a new ship?

Answer: Mediacorp. (Xin Chuan 'Mei' Dian Shi = new ship no TV)

Stupid Lame Video #7: Time Saving ATM

Ms Swan is one of the best classics lamer of all time!!!

Stupid Lame Video #5: Doggy and Monkey Business

The monkey is called "Pankun",the bulldog is "James".
Watch them doing sit-ups.Man,you will love them!!

Stupid Riddle Joke #22: Beautiful Singapore

Which town in Singapore is the most beautiful??

Clue: One of the MRT stations in the East.

Answer: Tanah Merah. ( because "Dang rang mei la!" means "Of course beautiful lah!")

Stupid Riddle Joke #21: Brown and Sticky

What is brown and sticky??

Answer: A stick. (Because it's brown and stick-'y')

Stupid Riddle Joke #20: Numbers!!

What did "0" say to "8"??

Answer: If you are FAT, LET IT BE!! Why wear a BELT??

Stupid Lame Video #5: "KUNGFU"

"Kungfu" the movie, starring by Steven Seagal.Watch this!!!

Stupid Lame Video #4: Tickle Me "EMO"

This is Elmo's cousin,the extreme opposite.I don't want this toy!!

Stupid Riddle Joke #19: Sammi Cheng

Who is the person whom Sammi Cheng misses the MOST??


Answer: Grandfather. (because "Wo She Bu De Ni.....YeYe" means "I miss you, Grandfather.)

Stupid Lame Video #3: Tickle Me Elmo

Pls Buy one for me!I like cute things because I am also cute.

Stupid Lame Video #2: Memoirs Of The Geisha (M18!!)

Children under 18, DON'T WATCH!!

Stupid Lame Video #1: Girly MAN!!

Definition of GIRLY MAN: A man who dances around,uttering words nobody understands and behave like a pokemon who will always shout his name.

Stupid Riddle Joke #18: Naked Snow White

Seven dwarfs saw Snow White naked bathing in a pond.

Guess a soft drink??


Answer: 7 UP (innocent people will not get this one right.Trust me..hehehe.)

Stupid Riddle Joke #17: Andy Lau

Who give Andy Lau a cup of "Forget Love Water?" (Wang Qin Shui)




Answer: Ah Ha
because Ah Ha..gei wo yi bei wang qin shui"
(=Ah Ha...give me a cup of "Forget Love Water.)

Stupid Riddle Joke #16: Signboard Danger!

5 men were standing under a signboard.
Suddenly!! The signboard fell on them!!
However, only three men collapsed under the signboard.

Why???


Answer: Because it is a MacDonald's signboard."M". Hehehe.

Stupid Riddle Joke #15: The Lizards War Part 2

When the Ah Beng lizards were defeated,the Ah Lian lizards laughed. (Must see Part 1 if not you blur.)
What noises do the Ah Lians Lizards make?

Answer: "Tsk Tsk..Tsk Tsk..Tsk Tsk"

Stupid Riddle Joke #14: Do Not Call Him

You have the mobile numbers of five friends,John,Peter,Jackson,Gilbert and Tommy

You must not call Who?? And Why??




Answer: I must not call Jackson because "Michael Jackson" ('Mai' Call Jackson)

Stupid Riddle Joke #13: Lizards War Part 1

There are two groups of lizards climbing on the ceiling,Ah Lians and Ah Bengs
They are fighting to claim territories.
Ah Lians give up and they surrender.
However a few seconds later,Ah Bengs were defeated and fell to the ground.

How Come???

Answer: Because when the lizards of Ah Lians surrender,the lizards of Ah Bengs cheered and clapped hands,so without support,they fall down and were defeated.

Stupid Riddle Joke #12: Hit the Head

If I use a coconut to hit your head,

If I use a rambutan to hit your head,

If I use my hand to hit your head,

If I use a durian to hit your head,

If I use a golf club to hit your head,

If I use a bowling ball to hit your head.

Which one do you think is the MOST PAINFUL and BLOODIEST??















Answer: Your head. Stupid!!

Stupid Riddle Joke #11: Ants!!

There are three little ants walking along in a line.
The ant in front said,"There are 2 ants behind me."
The ant at the back said,"There are 2 ants in front of me."
The ant in the middle said,"There is no ant around me."

Why??
(Clue: Everyone has been doing this before)



Answer: The ant in the middle is lying.Hahaha..funny right?

Stupid Riddle Jokes #10: Jumping Down

What is the difference between a person jumping down from 2nd storey & a person jumping down from 20th storey?

Answer: The person jumping from 20th storey will,"AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargggggggggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! POM!!

And the person jumping from 2nd Storey will, "POM!!!!!!........................................Ouch pain pain.

Stupid Riddle Joke #9: Don't Marry him!!!

How come a female deer and a male zebra cannot get married??

Answer: The deer's parents don't want their daughter to marry the zebra because he has "tattoo".

Stupid Riddle Joke #8: Guess a juice??

What juice is yellow and smells like banana but it is not a fruit juice??


Answer: Monkey's vomit.

Stupid Riddle Joke #7: "Who is the MURDERER???"

On one cold stormy night, there is a bungalow which houses 5 friends.

"Aaaaaarggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Suddenly!! There was a loud scream coming from the toilet.

Ah Kow came to the toilet door, realising the door is locked from inside.
He is very strong and built.
He rushed at the door and it is forced open. And he saw Ah Neo,sitting on the toilet seat,dead with a knife stabbed on his heart.
Ah Kow said."What Happened!?"

Ah Tan ran to the scene, he was sweating profusely.
Ah Tan said,"What Happened!?"

Ah Zhu came to the scene, she was having a bad flu and keep having running nose.
Ah Zhu said,"What Happened!?"

Ah Hong came to the scene, his nose is bleeding.
Ah Hong said,"What Happened!?"

Who Killed Ah Neo??


Answer: Ah Hong is the murderer. (Because he was hiding behind the door,when Ah Kow forced the door open, the door slammed on Ah Hong's face causing his nose to bleed.)
(Ah Kow cannot be the murderer because the door is locked from inside. Ah Tan cannot be the murderer because he ran to the scene causing him to sweat. Ah Zhu cannot be the murderer because she is having running nose because of the stormy night.)

Stupid Riddle Joke #6: Superman

Why is Superman costume so tight?

Answer: Because he's very stupid, always wear Size "S" clothes one.

Stupid Riddle Joke #5: The Dancing Birdie

There is a bird dancing on a stage.

It is wearing bullet-proof vest all over its body, from the head to the feet.

A hunter came and fired one shot and killed the dancing bird.

How Come????




Answer: Because the bird is "Strip Dancing."

Stupid Riddle Joke #4: Harry Potter

If Harry Potter lost his broomstick,

what OTHER equipment will he use to travel around???



Answer: Helicopter ( because it's sound like his name......laugh pls laugh)

Stupid Riddle Joke #3: A "Scary" Encounter

One dark night, a taxi driver was driving along the lonely roads at Tuas. The road is quiet and calm. Suddenly!!! A lady in red by the road hailed the taxi. She has long hair,beautiful legs,a model body and is a great beauty instead.

This lady gets in the car and said: "Uncle.....take me to Jurong....

The taxi uncle started his engine and took off with the lady in RED sitting on the backseat.

As he was driving the cab, he checked the rear view mirror......HE CAN'T SEE THE LADY!!!!

He turned his head to the rear....THE LADY IS SITTING THERE....smiling at him...

He try to calm himself down thinking he might have overworked himself and the time is already 2am after midnight. His eyes must be playing tricks...He checked the mirror again.................
.....SHE'S GONE!!

He turned around and looked..she was there again sitting and smiling at him.

Cold sweats driving down his spine..he know he encounter something 'dirty'. He glanced at the rear view mirror, NO ONE!!!

Squeched!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(He brakes suddenly)

Turned around,he took out his courage to see behind,heart chanting to his god....
...........
The lady in red is there sitting..however there's blood coming out from one side of her nostrils.

WHY?




Answer: The lady was digging her nose. Because she is a beauty,she did not want the taxi uncle to see her digging the nose so she hide behind the front seat digging her nose while the taxi uncle was not looking.

Stupid Riddle Joke #2: Dirty joke

Guess what am I?:

• I am normally attached to a human body.
• I sometimes long and sometimes short.
• I sometimes soft and sometimes hard.
• I can be different types of colour, can be yellow,black,white or others.
• I can be used for fertilization.

WHAT AM I PLEASE???????

Answer:Yes, I am a SHIT. (Then what do you think I am?)

Stupid Riddle Joke #1: Credit Card

Which country has the most number of people using credit cards?

Answer: Thailand

Why? Because the people will everytime "SAWADIKA"......(swa wo di ca =use my credit card)